These Ordinary Days

Renee is writing this post.

So for some reason I am on a total "lets try every web application known to man" kick.  This would have been a normal thing for me to do like 5 years ago, but now?  I don't know.  Should someone approaching their 30's be setting up a facebook or 'twittering'?  I actually think I had a facebook years ago when it was actually designed for students.  I never used it obviously and now I keep reading about all of the cool features it has so I figure I will try it.  However I get on and see all of these people from my graduating class that have facebooks who I forgot even existed for the most part (which I'm sure is probably mutual) and I'm afraid.  Even the ones I was friends with I'm too reluctant to add for no real reason (hello Renee, its only facebook afterall!) making this application especially pointless.  I did just send a request to my sister as an accident however (seriously).  I hope I don't get rejected!

And then twitter?  I'm really trying to figure out the hype, but I don't know.  A weblog is self-centered enough.  Updating people on what I'm doing every hour the day is just over the edge.  I guess I can see how it could be valuable for people who are in the epicenter of some huge event that people want to know about.  That will most likely not be me as I am generally boring and avoid being at the epicenter of most any worthwhile event unless it is by pure coincidence.  Just watch, soon I'll be twittering away...

But I have found some highly valuable (and addictive) web applications that are actual useful for me. After being introduced to pandora during my knitting classes I logged on at home and became instantly hooked.  Knitting class also introduced me to ravelry, which is a knitting and crocheting community for those who neither knit or crochet (if you do and haven't heard of it I am telling you to go there now!).  While I haven't really begun tracking my projects there with photos and notes yet (I keep telling myself I will) it has been a great source for patterns and general inspiration so far.  And finally my sister introduced me to mint, which is way of tracking your finances all in one place.  For some reason I log into it like 10 times a day even if I haven't purchased a single thing.  Do I really need constant reminders of my pathetic debt-to-income ratio?  Of course not! 

This all leads me to consider the ongoing mental struggle I have over wasting so much time doing things of little value like watching television and being online.  We weren't given life just to twitter and poke it away! 

A Life Worthwhile.

So I am trying to be proactive with change in my life by actually confronting it and sorting through all of the chaos it brings.  But I am happy to say that I am currently in a decent place in my life.  A place that actually has me excited, even though on the surface it probably appears to be boring.  But I am still trying to adjust into it.  I just have so many things on my mind.  So I thought I would document some of that both as reference to look back on for myself and to share with any and all.  But it is nice to finally not care so much about how I look to people.  To finally begin gaining control of my life.  To finally be comfortable with life.  To stop running away from my challenges and start facing things head on.  I still keep wishing I hadn't waited so long to get to this place, but things happen when they are meant to happen.  I am trying to accept this and not let it all overwhelm me so much.  There is no distance left to run.  In a way I am back at the beginning, a brand new beginning, and it actually feels pretty good.